The JLI 104.64 vs. 2 Mannings 1 Cup 77.36
2 in a row! Now that's what I'm talking about. See, you don't panic when the season starts unexpectantly.
I have a confession to make. I'm not proud to say this, but I lied to you. I changed my roster before Sunday so what you see listed on my previous post is nothing more than a falsehood. I stand before to humbly accept my apology...WHO AM I KIDDING? I won. That's all that matters.
Between my last post and game time on Sunday I decided to make a few edits. I swapped in Jimmy Graham for Rob Gronkowski and Denarius Moore for Hakeem Nicks. In the latter case, Nicks was a late scratch from the lineup so that happens. In the former, I won't lie. I had noticed how each week, I was alternating Graham and Gronk. So far, it had been working. Whoever I started scored more than the guy I benched. But then I started thinking "It can't be as easy as simply starting Graham, then Gronk, then Graham, then Gronk and just alternate them each week. It doesn't work like that." So my brain overrode my gut and said start Graham two weeks in a row. Be a rebel!
And yet my instinct said Gronk. Many of my decisions are based are the great "Choke it Out" theory. I'll explain. If there is a decision to be made, go with the answer you would give if someone was choking you to death and will only release the hold when you blurt on answer. I couldn't find a link to the video at YouTube, but it's from an episode of The League. It also involved erections and knives, but I digress. Bottom line, when the answer hits like lightning, don't overanalyze, just do it! Like Nike, expect with fewer workers rights violations hopefully.
What I Liked (Besides Joe Flacco's Eyebrows)
- Jamaal Charles Keeping It Up
- Matt Bryant says Don't Call It a Comeback!
And by up, I mean his penis. Just kidding. Truth be told, I don't know if he gets hard when he's running for 88 yards and scoring a rushing and a receiving TD for a total of 19.10 points. It's not my place to judge. He did lose two fumbles so if he is popping wood, it is not scaring away people from diving into the pile with him. That's why the pros gets paid so much money. They're willing to be under a pile of large men while potentially going facemask to full tumescence. He's my early season MVP and for that, I will send him flowers because that's how I show my love (no homo...maybe a little homo...eh).
It looks like Atlanta's coaching staff got my angry emails and snarky message board comments I leave on their homepage. What? Look, the Internet Elite are still using messaging boards. I'm cool. I'm hip. Look at Mike Smith. You can't tell that guy isn't on 4chan. I bet he trolls like nobody's business. It's always the quiet ones who ends up posting morally questionable content and slipping goatse links to your work email addy (and as tempting as it is to link to goatse, I'm not gonna because if I haven't seen it by now, shame on you. And by shame, I mean continuing to live your life in a blissful state of ignorance for never have seen a man stretching his anus to Olympic sized proportions). So I know he got my manifesto on the psychological advantage on kicking FGs as opposed to TDs. It all made sense when I wrote it at 3:12am hopped up on NOS and Starbursts. Anyway, 14.00 points so I won't drop him until his bye week. Man, I am one loyal dude.
What I Didn't Like
- Chan Mother-Fucking Gailey
- I Got Nothing
You can call this sour grapes, but whatever. I specifically picked up Fred Jackson because C.J. Spiller's shoulder looked like it would need a few weeks to heal after the Cleveland game and Jackson was going to be the clear cut #1 RB and running the football is the ONE thing the Bills can do. And what does Chan do? Decides he'll use a 60% healthy Spiller AND Jackson to kill all fantasy owners who thought they were sly (like me). I got 5.9 points and ended up screaming at the TV whenever Spiller came in. And I shit you not, I swear Gailey was simply rotating them in every other offensive series. Because that's how coaching works! Yes I won this week, but I'm thinking long term. RB by committee helps NO ONE!
Yeah, I really couldn't come up with a second negative. At least, not one I could really go off on. It's a pity really. I can usually go off at anything. Hmmm...that doesn't seem like it came out correctly but oh well. I still consider myself strong and bitter so I'm sure my next loss will result in poetic gold if you prefer your poetry to be strewn with profanity and pop culture.
Quick Hits
- So yeah, my gut was right. I should have stayed with Gronk over Graham. I knew. I fucking knew it! I swear, my brain has it in for me. This is why I didn't lose my virginity until college. Anytime I could have gotten anywhere with a chick in high school, my brain would cause me to think, not do and I did not get done. To be fair, I wouldn't have gone all the way but at least a couple of handies would have been nice. What does this have to do with Fantasy Football? Not sure. I've gotten distracted.
- I'm starting to notice a lot of the players I've dropped have gotten picked up by other teams and are doing well. Ahmad Bradshaw, Eric Decker. Where were these points when you were on my team? It's spite. Pure and simple. They were holding back.
- I will hand it to my opponent. 2 Mannings 1 Cup is far and away the best fantasy football team this season. Somebody needs to use some photoshop magic and make a team logo for this team.
Roster Changes
- Dropped Stephen Hill for Andre Roberts
- Dropped Donnie Avery for Mikel LeShoure
So after his 2 TD explosion against the Bills, Stephen Hill as done...well JACK SHIT! Done. I'm over you like R. Patts is over Kristen Stewart. Wait, they're gettng back together? Shit, this means Stephen Hill is going to blow it up for someone else's team and Kevin Kolb will get his head knocked off and John Skelton will forget Andre is on his team and keeping trying to get him to bring his car out from the Valet Lot. With Nicks on the shelf and Moore on the bye, I need a warm body. Can you feel the confidence I have in this transaction?
Yeah, Mikel is on the bye next week but I figured he's going to be the feature back for the Lions and another back for the rotation ain't bad. Andrew Luck loves Reggie Wayne and that's all he has eyes for. I keep chasing waterfalls when I should be sticking to the rivers and the lakes that I'm used to.
Starting Roster
- QB - Joe Flacco
- WR1 - Brandon Lloyd
- WR2 - Andrew Hawkins
- WR3 - Andre Roberts
- RB1 - Jamaal Charles
- RB2 - Donald Brown
- TE - Rob Gronkowski
- K - Matt Bryant
- DEF - Arizona
Conclusion
Yep, I'm going to keep riding Arizona's surprising DEF until I can't ride them no more. Hmmm...this week seems a little more sexual then normal. I must have high testosterone or something. I have a feeling this will not be a good week for me considering the bye week and injury bug. Hakeem Nicks, where are you?!? My current Fantasy Football Mood is Ned Stark deciding not to leave King's Landing.
